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Too many women are editors

‘Too many women are editors’. Simone Weil.
A quote taped to the left corner of my laptop, next to the touch pad.
Someone who knows me well thought it was funny I had it there. Why?
Because I don’t strike you as the type of woman who needs feminism?
I edit a lot. I edit myself. I edit in my work. I am not yet the
author I know I can be. The author of my life, of my work, of the
things that I can create.
I hesitate jumping into jam sessions. Still. At 33.
I remember those half-lit nights at the abandoned freight train
station in Switzerland. Pushing myself beyond my limits, I tried to jam
with the guys and my second-hand Fender guitar. The barman said I
needed to start smoking and drinking whiskey, it would help my voice.
Oh my God, all of it was so excruciating. Instead of asking for help I
thought I had to know it all by myself. There was no culture of girls
learning how to do this and encouraging each other. I saw this again,
in Nairobi, almost 15 years later. Girls jamming and apologetically
smiling when they hit a wrong note. Giggling nervously.
I wanted to scream.
It’s not cute to be insecure. It’s not cute to be apologetic. It’s not
cute to not stand in the fire of your vulnerability and instead mask
it with all that nonsense. It’s not cute to be perfect. It’s not cute
to not care. It’s not cute and it’s not necessary. Let’s start shining
through the cracks and become authors.
Too many women are editors. Still. And for me this is not even about
equality this is about the painful loss of beauty in this world that
could be.”


by Geraldine Hepp

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